2.18Het Gerecht realiseert zich dat geen van de adoptieouders gelukkig zal zijn met deze beslissing. [Minderjarige] zelf misschien ook niet. Het Gerecht heeft daarom een brief geschreven aan [minderjarige] om de beslissing uit te leggen. De tekst van die brief staat hieronder.
In August 2025, we spoke about the request of your adoptive mother ([verzoekster], as you refer to her) to revoke her adoption. Afterwards, I spoke with your adoptive parents twice (in August 2025 and May 2026). I also requested the Voogdijraad to investigate what would be in your best interest. I asked them to advise me on whether it would be in your best interest to revoke the adoption by [verzoekster].
Today, I issued a formal decision (“beschikking”). It was not an easy decision to make, but I ultimately decided not to revoke [verzoekster] adoption, at least not at this time. In this letter, I will try to explain my decision to you. I have also included this letter in my “beschikking” so that your father and [verzoekster] are aware of what I have written to you.
It is very clear to me that you have been through a great deal in your life. You did not choose any of these circumstances. As a young child, you were adopted because, as I understand it, your birth mother was unable to care for you. A few years later, your brother suddenly disappeared from your life. You grew up in an environment that was not particularly warm or supportive. More recently, your adoptive parents divorced, and you and your father had to leave the family home. [Verzoekster] has made it clear that she no longer wishes to be involved in your life. All of this must have been very difficult, and I want to emphasize that none of it is, or ever was, your fault. You were, and still are, a child. You may have been difficult at times. All children are, and adopted children often require additional support. It was and is the responsibility of adults to care for you, support you, love you, and deal with any challenges that arise. It should not have been the other way around. It was not your responsibility to try to make the adults happy.
Having met [verzoekster], I am concerned that she may not have been able to provide you with the unconditional love and support you deserved. This is not your fault.
The law stipulates that an adopted person may request the revocation of their adoption until the age of 30 (or possibly even later). As you are still a minor, the adoption can only be revoked if there is a pressing need to do so immediately. In my opinion, there is no such need at this time.
Given all the things you have gone through, I fully understand that you do not want to be around [verzoekster]. You do not have to be. You will be living with your father. [Verzoekster] no longer has parental responsibility for you and cannot make decisions about your life. You do not have to see [verzoekster].
For these reasons, I do not believe there is an immediate need to revoke the adoption at this time.
Therefore, I decided to leave the situation as it is for now. On paper, [verzoekster] will remain your adoptive mother. In practice, she is not involved in your life. This will give you the opportunity to decide for yourself, later in life, whether you wish to maintain or revoke the adoption. You may decide that you want to revoke the adoption by [verzoekster], or you may choose to leave things as they are. That decision is entirely yours. As I said, you will have until you are at least 30 years old to decide what you want. That gives you plenty of time to think things through and make your own choice. There is no need to rush. I find it very important that, this time, the decision is yours. Not someone else's.
You may not understand my decision, or agree with it. That is okay. I just want you to know that I made this decision because I believe it offers you the most protection, even if it may not feel that way right now.
If you would like some more explanation, I would be more than happy to provide it. If you would like to, you are welcome to stop by the courthouse coming Wednesday, 17 June, around 3.30 pm. I will let the guards know that you may be coming. If you would prefer to visit at another time, please let me know by sending an email to [E-mailadres]. You are welcome to bring someone with you if that would make you feel more comfortable. However, you cannot bring your father, because I am not allowed to discuss the case with him while [verzoekster] is not present. Those are the rules I must follow as a judge.
Of course, it is also perfectly fine if you do not wish to come.
To conclude, I wish you every success and happiness in the future. Your father made it very
clear to me that he is doing everything he can to be there for you and to be a good father. It is also clear to me that the two of you make a good team. I hope this decision will give you some peace of mind. If not right away, then at least eventually.